A Mass Effect Day Out
by 666PsychoCheddar999
Summary: Nobody on the Normandy's crew is exactly normal, so what did Shepard expect to happen when she let them loose on the Citadel? Certainly not this...
1. Buddies

A Mass Effect Day Out

Chapter One: 'Buddies'

The shuttle docked in the bay, as the engines quietened until they were silent and the blue glow become non-existent. The doors slid open and a cacophony of noise flooded out of the shuttle, accompanyied by a small crowd of people.

A woman in N7 armor came out last, looking extremely stressed. This was Marion Shepard. She was rubbing her temples in an effort to block out the 5-hour shuttle ride from the Normandy to the Citadel. She sighed heavily and waved her hands to attract their attention.

"Hey! Listen up, crew! Hey! Guys! Come on!"

She rolled her eyes and swallowed her pride for the "fail-safe" option.

"THE REAPERS ARE HERE EARLY!" she screamed to the crew. They all immediately snapped around and Grunt even pulled out his shotgun, snarling into mid-air.

"Now that I have your attention, I'm go-! Grunt, put it away for god's sake! I'm going to draw two names at a time from this hat..." Shepard pulled out an Alliance beret filled with pieces of paper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jack's voice groaned from within the crowd. Shepard shot a glare at Subject Zero and moved on.

"...and those two people will stick together for the whole day. Anybody who deliberatley seperates themselves from their buddies-!"

"Buddies? With all due respect Commander, we're not five year olds." complained Jacob.

"You were acting like five year olds on the shuttle, so I will treat you like five year olds, Jacob." replied Shepard, without looking up. Jacob blushed and fell silent.

"Okay! First team is...Tali and Jack!"

"Oh, keelah..."

"Fuck that!"

"Go and stand by your partner."

Jack dragged her feet as slow as she could over to Tali, cursing under her breath. Tali folded her arms and looked the other way, pretending not to notice Jack at all.

"Next, it's...Grunt and Mordin!"

"Just stay of my fertility, salarian."

"Likewise, krogan."

"And then it's...Garrus and me!"

There were disgruntled mumers from the crowd at this, which were overpowered by Jacks's, "Bullshit! Just because you're fuck-!"

"Jack! I will send you back to the Normandy! Keep quiet!"

Jack flipped Shepard off the moment she looked back down at the list.

"Kasumi and Zaeed!"

"Legion and Thane!"

"Samara and Jacob!"

"That's it! I'll meet you back here in 8 hours!" said Shepard, grinning at Garrus who was walking towards her.

"Well, what about me?" said Miranda, as everyone began to disperse.

Shepard shrugged as she walked off, holding hands with Garrus. "Go with someone!"

Miranda sighed, muttered,"Bitch" and looked around for someone to go with. Everyone had gone, except Jack and Tali. Miranda looked over at them and Jack scoffed, "No chance, bitch. Come on Zorah."

Tali glanced sheepishly at Miranda and followed Jack. Miranda stood alone in the hangar.

She proclaimed, "Pricks." to thin air and marched off in Zakera Ward.


	2. The Right Thing

Chapter 2: The Right Thing

(Samara and Jacob)

Samara walked at a steady pace through the markets, drinking in all of the sights and sounds of Zakera Ward. She could almost sense the crime and villainy here but also an underlying feeling of hope. She stepped into one shop to admire a particularly fetching asari head-dress.

Jacob, meanwhile, was not so tranquil. He had never really spoken to Samara before and had no idea what to say to her. He pretended to be interested in something he was fairly certain was a turian condom while he thought of something.

Eventually, he came up with, "So, how are you doing?". He mentally shot himself in the foot for that one.

"I am well. Thank you for asking, Jacob." Samara answered, not taking her eyes of the head-dress. Jacob couldn't tell whether she was finding the situation uncomfortable or not. In fact, he couldn't tell anything from her face or body language. She could be anything from constipated to ecstatic.

Samara's belly growled lightly in protest as she scanned around the shop, looking at everything. She had politely accepted one of Kasumi's "home-made surprise" sandwiches the night before and her insides had been doing somersaults ever since. She didn't really know what to say to Jacob. She didn't know whether asking a human how their daily bowel movements were going was rude or not. Although the last human she had asked that to had given her a very odd look, so she thought it best to avoid the subject.

Samara glanced down a nearby alleyway and saw the flash of a gun. She tapped Jacob on the shoulder and he looked up from staring at his boots. There were rushing footsteps and the faint blast of a pistol.

"Probably a gang war. Don't get involved." mumbled Jacob, yawning in boredom.

"As a justicar, I am sworn to help the innocent. We must hurry!"

Samara sprinted off down the alleyway, with Jacob reluctantly close behind. They turned towards the direction of the shouting and saw two armed thugs who had cornered two others. Samara and Jacob couldn't make them out, due to the poor lighting.

The thugs turned around when they heard them and pointed their pistols at them. Before Jacob could use his biotics, there was a flash of blue from next to him and gunfire ricocheted off the walls. He thought he heard someone yell at someone else to run but he couldn't be sure.

And then the two thugs were on the floor, whimpering. Samara snapped their guns in half and strode off, with Jacob in tow.

"That was...uh...pretty...good, Samara." said Jacob, still amazed at her biotic display.

"I appreciate the compliment, Jacob. Now, I wish to return to that shop we were visiting. I think I deserve a treat."


	3. The Hunter and the Hunted

Chapter Three: The Hunter and the Hunted

Kasumi glanced behind her again, as Zaeed browsed through the gun catalogue at Rodam Expeditions, muttering, "Overpriced peices of junk...couldn't even take down a pyjak...". The turian owner eyed him with irritation and was resiting the urge to vault the counter and rip his fake eye out. Kasumi had recently heard that some of Donovan Hock's people were looking for her and the graybox, so she was being extremely cautious. She wished Zaeed would hurry up and buy something.

Zaeed wished Kasumi would stop staring at the bloody door. He didn't think he had ever seen such an obvious attempt to hide worry. She was clearly looking for someone following her. At least the Blue Suns he had heard were on the Citadel looking for him would see her first. He laughed at one of the pitiful pistols that was supposed to be the shop's best and saw the turian shopkeeper clenching his fists in rage.

"Fine, I'm going. Bloody turians." He walked out of the door and looked back at Kasumi. "Come on, Goto. If you want to shake whoever's looking for you, we should keep moving."

Kasumi gave a little smile and followed him, "Was I that obvious?"

Zaeed responded, "No, I'm just bloody good at evading followers. Stick with me and we'll be-!"

As Zaeed rounded the corner, so did two humans and a turian in Blue Suns uniform. There were was a moment of silence as the groups stared at eachother. It was broken by Zaeed's surprisingly calm tone.

"Shit."

"Get Massani!"

"RUN!"

Zaeed and Kasumi sprinted through the Citadel with the Blue Suns hot on their heels.

"Where the hell is C-Sec?" panted Kasumi as they ran.

"Vido probably bought them off, the bastard."

Eventually, they turned into a small warehouse filled with barrels. It was occupied by a single volus that Zaeed promptly knocked out with a punch. Zaeed noticed the red barrels marked, "Warning: Highly Explosive" as the Blue Suns ran in.

The human in front stepped forward, grinning. He had an English accent and an air of over-confidence.

"Mr. Santiago wants you out of the way, Massani. You're going to regret not dying from the first time. It's over."

"Maybe for you."

Zaeed and Kasumi pulled out their guns and pointed them at the explosive barrels. The Blue Suns noticed but it was too late. The fire engulfed the two humans and the turian screamed as his foot was blown off. Zaeed and Kasumi were already gone.

"Got to admit, Zaeed. That was pretty fun." laughed Kasumi, as they strolled back to Zakera Ward.

"Anytime, Kasumi." And Zaeed smiled for the first time in a long while.

"I'll bet we're going to turn the corner and run into Hock's- Oh, for fuck's sake!"

And they began sprinting again.


End file.
